She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize
