So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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