There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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