Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
