A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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