You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
