He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
