why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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