How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
