Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and she was petting her beer can
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
