hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
