you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
