Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
