then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
