Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
