i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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