Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
