You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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