Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
