There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
