I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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