in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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