He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Porn is love you can see.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
