You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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