Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
