Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
