it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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