i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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