Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
