I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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