The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
