we have officially lost it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
