dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
what day is it and did you see me today?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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