mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
