She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
