I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
