He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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