We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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