Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
