out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
