And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
