I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
