You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
