New low: just hacked my moms facebook
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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