blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
