shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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