i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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