My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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