Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
