no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
