I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
