my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
