Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
